I almost dated a Sociopath 😬

Okay, today’s post will be a juicy one. I’m going to tell you about a boy I began pursuing a little after I came back from Korea. To put it simply, HE WAS A SOCIOPATH.

Now, now. Nobody freak out. To this day, I still don’t know if anything that came out of this kid’s mouth were jokes or facts.... That in and of itself should’ve been my first red flag but NO, I pushed forward and continued to pursue this strange human. To protect my own safety, let’s call him Vinnt.

Vinnt was in one of my college classes. He was one of the class clowns and always made ridiculous comments. I, naturally having a thing for dumbasses, quickly developed a crush on him. I began looking forward to that class just so I could see him. He became the highlight of my day and replaced most of the external sources that brought me joy when I was in Korea. To me, he seemed like the answers to all my problems. The idea of us being a thing brought me all this joy because I was intensely desperate for a boyfriend.

One day Vinnt was absent and I spent the entire class drawing a portrait of him and fantasizing about what our relationship would look like. The next time I saw him, I showed it to him. My memory is fuzzy but he made some funny joke and then proceeded to say that we should grab lunch together. So, we did.

At the campus dining hall, Vinnt and I sat together laughing and talking about the world. Only, some of the stuff he was saying was weird. Let me give you some examples of the things he’d say.

• “I think the world is pointless. I mean, I must’ve tried ending it all about 10 times and now I’m here but do I wanna be, no.”

• “You know what‘s really exciting? The thought of killing someone. I mean, I’d never do it but I think about it a lot. Idk, I like the excitement of blood splatter I guess.”

• ”I killed a dog once. That’s the biggest thing I’ve done.”

• ”My ex-girlfriend used to love it rough so I’d tear and rip her clothes off and she’d let me scratch her back sometimes. It was hot.”

Ya’ll reading that:

I know a lot of you just yelled at your screens, “RUN GIRL RUN!” Like I said, I wasn’t sure if he meant any of that or if that was just his kind of humor. Because he was smiling and laughing through all of it.

YEAH, I SHOULD’VE RAN OUT OF THE DINING HALL AND NEVER LOOKED BACK.

But being a time when I felt lost and also was obsessed with Dexter (The TV Show), I stayed there. All I could see was a misunderstood bad boy who needed some therapy. Maybe I could give it to him?

I know now that the answer to that question is a solid no but in the moment I went with it.

Vinnt and I spent a lot of time together. I visited his dorm room, he visited mine, and we went on a lot of nighttime walks together. And, 90% of the time I spent with him, I was giving him free therapy. I somehow had it in my head that I could fix this kid.

Needles to say, spending time with Vinnt was draining as heck. I stopped caring about my grades and they were slippin’ a little bit. At some point, I wisened up. I started seeing how spending time with Vinnt was not okay for my academics or my mental health. So, I started blowing him off and used the time to study. I’d tell him straight, “I can’t walk tonight because I have an exam tomorrow.”

Well, the first night I did that, he said that he didn’t care and proceeded to come to my building. He called me like 16 times, all which I ignored in a panicked state.

To calm myself down, I just shut off my phone and studied. I went to bed and I woke up to a message from Vinnt cursing me out. I think I blocked the specifics from my memory but he was yelling and using very demeaning and harsh language.

And, remember, I STILL HAD CLASS WITH THIS KID. How the hell was I going to handle this?

Well, I went to class and basically ignored everything he said. That just made him more upset.

At some point he saw me walking on campus and began calling my name. I ignored him, of course. That resulted in having a heavy wallet thrown at the back of my head.

I had to strategically avoid him. I tried my best to not be around his dorm when I went on my walks and never made eye-contact with him in class. I guess it got to him because at some point he dropped out of the class. At which point, I felt like I could breathe a little easier.

---

The reason for this story in conjunction to a surviving-your-20s themed blog? Sirs & Ma’ams, this is a CAUTIONARY TALE.

The only reason this train-wreck of a situation lasted so long is because I felt like I was incomplete on my own. That goes hand with the next step of surviving your 20s.

And, for those of you who haven't jotted down the other steps or forgot them somewhere along the line, here they are (along with the one I'm adding on today):

1. Accept the fact that it won't be like anything you've ever seen in the movies or in the TV Shows.

2. Although stressful and confusing as hell, it just might be better than anything you've seen in the movies or on TV.

3. You will change and grow drastically from month to month. Your views on the world will continuously shift and change. Your dreams will be so much clearer yet differ extremely from those you had when you walked into your 20s.

4. Your 20s are the years that most shape you as a human being. The tales you accumulate in your 20s will most likely be the things you tell younger generations to guide them in the right directions.

5. Share how your feeling with your peers. Have the hard deep conversations with them and begin to feel like you are not alone in your confusion. Cry together & Laugh together. Evolve together.

6. Start getting comfortable with your own company. Realize that alone-time can be something precious because you, on your own, are already complete and enough.

Now, I know a lot of you reading this are yelling that the above steps aren't easy. You're right, they definitely aren't. But if you walk into your 20s beginning to attempt to grasp these things, your 20s may just flow a tad smoother. Or, at least, you won't be as surprised and befuddled as I was when I went through all the tough experiences. Either way, you got this kiddo! Just keep breathing and being present. Everything else will fall into place when it's meant to.